-I sat in a hospital room hoping and praying to make it to Houston on Monday, November 22nd to have the vessels fused between Easton and Parker, begging God to save my babies.
-I sat researching this experimental procedure that would be performed, if the doctors could make a tiny incision in my amniotic sac without rupturing it.
-I prayed that although this was VERY experimental and had only been done successfully a few hundred times, that I would be added to that number of successful cases.
-I felt Easton kicking me in my right rib, wondering how his little feet could possibly be so strong.
-I laid in bed rubbing my not so small tummy and talking to my sweet boys....AKA "Mama's babies".
-I stood in horror as I realized my water had broken and that my babies would not live.
-I saw the most terrible look on my husband's face as he rounded the bathroom corner and screamed in horror as he realized this was the end as we knew it.
-I laid in the hospital bed screaming out for a Dr. as the six nurses kept reassuring me that Dr. G. would be to the hospital shortly.
-I had the strongest urge to push but the nurses kept telling me I had to wait, for fear that I may need surgery if "this" didn't go as planned.
-I wondered how I would birth these babies, knowing that for five months I was told I would need a section.
-My husband cradled me and said "It's just you and me now".
-I held the most beautiful babies in the world and rocked them as I sang lullabies to them.
-I sat in the bed as my Dr. and family cradled me in tears.
-Since, Trent sat in a rocking chair, rocking our boys in tears as he said "I'll always be one proud Papa." "We did good baby, we made the most beautiful children."
-Sat in shock as I was wheeled down that hallway to my car without my children.
- SINCE, I realized, that I no longer had children.....
"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief."
|both of my boys!|