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| Joining Forces and Taking Tiny Steps Towards Big Differences. In memory of Easton and Parker McCoy November 20, 2010 |
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| Sorry for the quality but this was taken with a cell phone. |
Friday, April 29, 2011
Guess what? The shirts are in...
Here they are! Sorry the pics are kind of blury but they are perfect prints of my boys little feet. Easton's are on the left and Parker's are on the right. The walk is on May 7th and we are so excited to walk in memory of Easton and Parker. I miss them more and more each day but know they are happy and healthy boys in Heaven. I'll never forget their tiny little faces, hands, and feet. They were beautiful and perfect....
The front on the shirt has white writing and says March for Babies 2011! Hope you like them as much as I do. Thanks to everyone who ordered. The March of Dimes made a $6 profit on each shirt! Amazing, right?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
......
Have a great day every one! Thought you would enjoy these pretty pics....I sure do. They are some of my faves.
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| This is where Trent and I go walking in the evenings... |
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| beautiful sunset |
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| Looks like Heaven to me! |
Have a great day every one! Thought you would enjoy these pretty pics....I sure do. They are some of my faves.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter 2011
This Easter has been bitter sweet, obviously. It began Sunday morning when the violinist played Amazing Grace. This was the song played at the babies funeral except, instead of a violin it was played on a harmonica. Let me tell you, our entire family lost it. I could hardly take communion due to sobbing the entire time. We made it home from church, had lunch and then went to the cemetery. Mom made the boys an arrangement and took it to the cemetery last week. Trent and I went with his family and took two crosses that glow in the dark. They were beautiful. I have some pictures to post below of their pretty flowers. We don't yet have a head stone, as we are trying to work up the nerves to pick one out. One thing I am very happy about, is that our boys are buried in the most peaceful cemetery that I have ever been to. Besides their Great Grandfather and a few others, no one has been buried there since the 1800's. There are lots of little babies and children buried out there and the head stones are so old, weathered, and beautiful. Well as beautiful as a headstone can be. There are a couple of families out there who lost between four and six children within a years time. This all happened back in the 1800's, like I said so most likely some type of disease took them all. It is sad but at the same time, I realize how fortunate Trent and I are to live in a time where there are cures for diseases and sickness. Hopefully we will never lose another child, much less five or six more. Anyway here are some pictures of our time visiting Easton and Parker. I'll leave you with some extra pictures of just how beautiful the cemetery really is.
Like I mentioned in my last post, I got to hang out with some friends this weekend and had a great time. Lindsay, Melissa, and I spent Friday together, just shopping and having girls day. I have some pics of our day below also.
Like I mentioned in my last post, I got to hang out with some friends this weekend and had a great time. Lindsay, Melissa, and I spent Friday together, just shopping and having girls day. I have some pics of our day below also.
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| Right beside Papaw Billy. |
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| Melissa and I! |
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| Lindsay and I! |
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| Trenton and I. |
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I have the BEST Friends.....
So, like I said I'm focusing on my future and trying not to dwell on the past. So even though today has been five whole months since I had Easton and Parker, that is not what this post is about. I know you are probably glad to hear this....Anyway I am so ready to head to North La. for Easter. I have had a great week subbing 5th grade and am ready to have cupcakes, brownies, and goodies with the kiddos tomorrow for their Easter party. After school tomorrow we are heading in and staying the weekend with our parents. On Friday my best friend Lindsay and I are going to shop for her Easter dress and having lunch. I don't know who you consider your best friend but I have to say that I am pretty blessed to have this sweet girl in my life. We met in college and it's like we have known each other for a decade. I believe we were freshman or sophomores when we met and have been best buds ever since. We are more like sisters...Lindsay has one younger brother but no sisters and I, on the other hand have three sisters but am old enough to be their mother. Having Lindsay has been a God send and I am lucky to know this girl. With this said, In 2009 she was my maid of honor in my wedding and after that I didn't see her again until mid 2010. It was almost a year from the time I got married until we were even able to have lunch. You see, we now live three and a half hours from our home town and Lindsay lives and hour and a half further than that. So we have a good five hours between us. To some, this may not sound like a great relationship but in all honesty it's kind of weird how we catch up after so long apart. Around the time I found out I was pregnant we began to get together more often. She was with me when I went to tell my grandmother and my aunt who practically helped raise me, that I was expecting. Since last summer, we have been able to get together more often, at least once every few months. She has the most precious two year old who calls me "Boo boo" although I have no idea why but I love it anyway. I guess Betsy is just too hard to say. I hope you are all so lucky to had a friend like this in your lives...
I have also been blessed with a wonderful sister in law/friend who I love dearly. Melissa and I have been friends since she was 13 and I was 15 and she is marrying Trent's brother Jake. Awesome, right? I once heard it said, "often your sister in law will become your best friend, but it's not often that your best friend becomes your sister in law. This is so true. Mel and I were friends before we were either one dating Trent or Jake. I have been with Trent for eight years now and Mel is six months to the day behind us. She and Jake have been together seven and a half years. I remember a time when it was just she and I. We both promised we would never let guys come between us. Look at us now, not only are we great friends, but she is my sister. I'll never forget them times we sat together at my old house and talked about Trent and Jake and rather we would be able to make our relationships last. Here we are, eight years later still with the same boys and loving them more each day. It is amazing to know that she will be my children's Aunt. They will love her so much. I know I said this wasn't about Easton and Parker, and it's not but when we lost them, Mel got to the hospital around 5:00a.m. and climbed in the hospital bed with me and weeped. She loved our boys and watching her hold them, I knew they had her heart already.
Not only do I have Lindsay and Mel but I also have Sandy and Tori. Tori is Trent's cousin and we cheered together in high school. She and Sandy are really the closest friends that I came away from HS with. We cheered together in HS and I remember Tori being quite the "Snob". Sorry Tori. She used to call me "Jr. High" and wanted nothing to do with me. This was odd to me since we were both Varsity cheerleaders at the time. Anyway, with Tori being in the family I was bound and determined to become her friend. Afterall, I always thought she was cool in HS. I just never led on that I did. Now she is my family also and we talk every day sometimes two to three times a day. In college I "lived" with Tori for a bit. This is kind of a running joke because Trent also lived with Tori. You see, my house burned down when I was in college and I had just moved out of another friends house and had no where to go. This is when Tori and I became so close. We spent many days jogging together and spying on Trent....LOL..I won't go into detail. Needless to say, she is stuck with me for good, as she is now my cousin also.
Back to Sandy, this girl is a once in a lifetime friend. In high school we always attended the same sleepovers and hung out with the same seven girls but were never really close. I remember her calling me some not so nice names at one point but was never really offended because that was just Sandy. After high school we went to different colleges and some how never talked. I don't exactly remember when we got back to talking but it happened a few years ago. Sandy and I became very close before her wedding in 2008 and we both went on to be bridesmaids in each others wedding. Since then, she has had one precious little boy and been there for me as I had my boys. I look forward to many years with this girl by my side just as I do with Lindsay, Tori and Melissa also. I want to raise my kids with these girls right by my side. I am so blessed and can't imagine being with out these four....
Along the way, God thought I needed another Best bud and here came April. I have mentioned April in other blog's so I am sure you know who I am talking about. Not only is April a great friend, but she is a babylost mama also. At the beginning of this year, she lost her first pregnancy with little to no warning. I called myself being kind and sent her a scripture and the rest is history...For the last few months, we have been talking almost daily and have hung out a few times. She is precious and understands better than anyone what I am going through. We both want the same things for each other. I so want her be a mommy and she wants the same for me! I feel like I have known her for years and it's only been a few months. God knew I needed her and there she was.
And don't let me forget Sunny Rae. Mine and Trent's best guy friend Drew is married to Sunny. She moved from the Baton Rouge area when they got married and we have gotten closer through the last few years. With Trent and Drew being like brothers, Sunny and I get lots of time together on the weekends when we are back home and not too busy. Sunny and I enjoy our "girl" time together, riding four wheelers and just being country girls. We know how to keep entertained while our boys are out hunting. I have to say that Sunny is my "Fave" cooking partner. We have tons of fun cooking and you can bet any time that we are together, we are trying to cook breakfast, supper, or cakes. Although we are not pro's at cake icing that is for sure but we are pretty great at Just Dance.....Take my word for it!
These girls all hold a different and special places in my heart. Some are now family and the others I consider my family. It's amazing how great our God is and how he knew just the type of friends that I needed. I give him all the praise.
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I have also been blessed with a wonderful sister in law/friend who I love dearly. Melissa and I have been friends since she was 13 and I was 15 and she is marrying Trent's brother Jake. Awesome, right? I once heard it said, "often your sister in law will become your best friend, but it's not often that your best friend becomes your sister in law. This is so true. Mel and I were friends before we were either one dating Trent or Jake. I have been with Trent for eight years now and Mel is six months to the day behind us. She and Jake have been together seven and a half years. I remember a time when it was just she and I. We both promised we would never let guys come between us. Look at us now, not only are we great friends, but she is my sister. I'll never forget them times we sat together at my old house and talked about Trent and Jake and rather we would be able to make our relationships last. Here we are, eight years later still with the same boys and loving them more each day. It is amazing to know that she will be my children's Aunt. They will love her so much. I know I said this wasn't about Easton and Parker, and it's not but when we lost them, Mel got to the hospital around 5:00a.m. and climbed in the hospital bed with me and weeped. She loved our boys and watching her hold them, I knew they had her heart already.
Not only do I have Lindsay and Mel but I also have Sandy and Tori. Tori is Trent's cousin and we cheered together in high school. She and Sandy are really the closest friends that I came away from HS with. We cheered together in HS and I remember Tori being quite the "Snob". Sorry Tori. She used to call me "Jr. High" and wanted nothing to do with me. This was odd to me since we were both Varsity cheerleaders at the time. Anyway, with Tori being in the family I was bound and determined to become her friend. Afterall, I always thought she was cool in HS. I just never led on that I did. Now she is my family also and we talk every day sometimes two to three times a day. In college I "lived" with Tori for a bit. This is kind of a running joke because Trent also lived with Tori. You see, my house burned down when I was in college and I had just moved out of another friends house and had no where to go. This is when Tori and I became so close. We spent many days jogging together and spying on Trent....LOL..I won't go into detail. Needless to say, she is stuck with me for good, as she is now my cousin also.
Back to Sandy, this girl is a once in a lifetime friend. In high school we always attended the same sleepovers and hung out with the same seven girls but were never really close. I remember her calling me some not so nice names at one point but was never really offended because that was just Sandy. After high school we went to different colleges and some how never talked. I don't exactly remember when we got back to talking but it happened a few years ago. Sandy and I became very close before her wedding in 2008 and we both went on to be bridesmaids in each others wedding. Since then, she has had one precious little boy and been there for me as I had my boys. I look forward to many years with this girl by my side just as I do with Lindsay, Tori and Melissa also. I want to raise my kids with these girls right by my side. I am so blessed and can't imagine being with out these four....
Along the way, God thought I needed another Best bud and here came April. I have mentioned April in other blog's so I am sure you know who I am talking about. Not only is April a great friend, but she is a babylost mama also. At the beginning of this year, she lost her first pregnancy with little to no warning. I called myself being kind and sent her a scripture and the rest is history...For the last few months, we have been talking almost daily and have hung out a few times. She is precious and understands better than anyone what I am going through. We both want the same things for each other. I so want her be a mommy and she wants the same for me! I feel like I have known her for years and it's only been a few months. God knew I needed her and there she was.
And don't let me forget Sunny Rae. Mine and Trent's best guy friend Drew is married to Sunny. She moved from the Baton Rouge area when they got married and we have gotten closer through the last few years. With Trent and Drew being like brothers, Sunny and I get lots of time together on the weekends when we are back home and not too busy. Sunny and I enjoy our "girl" time together, riding four wheelers and just being country girls. We know how to keep entertained while our boys are out hunting. I have to say that Sunny is my "Fave" cooking partner. We have tons of fun cooking and you can bet any time that we are together, we are trying to cook breakfast, supper, or cakes. Although we are not pro's at cake icing that is for sure but we are pretty great at Just Dance.....Take my word for it!
These girls all hold a different and special places in my heart. Some are now family and the others I consider my family. It's amazing how great our God is and how he knew just the type of friends that I needed. I give him all the praise.
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
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| Lindsay and I on my BIG announcement day... |
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| Sandy and I at her baby shower! |
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| Sweet April and I! Love this girlie! |
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| Precious friend! |
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| The Maid of Honor and I! |
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| Sweet friends... |
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| Sister in Law Mel and I |
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| Cousin Tori and I! |
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| Beautiful friends! |
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| hunting girls! |
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| My family friends! |
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| April and I! Isn't she a doll? |
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| Day in Jacksonville Florida! |
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| Sunny Rae |
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| Day at the Catfish Festival! |
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| Dallas Vacation! |
Sunday, April 17, 2011
April 17,2011 = Due Date and MOVING ON....
Today was our due date......I am not crying, angry, or having a bad day. It's going pretty well actually. Trent and I are so blessed. Like I've said numerous times before, God has been so good to us. We don't sit around sad all of the time, nor do we talk about the boys every second of every day. It may seem crazy to some but we sometimes go days without mentioning them. I know this blog is not a good indicator of this but my goal was to use this space to tell about Easton and Parker. I talk about them alot more on here than I do in my everyday life. My family and I talk about them a lot more than we share but we know we have to move forward and not mention them in every conversation. With that being said, you all know the story and I am doing my best to find other topics to talk about. Although the pain is at times unbearable, we are happy and thriving. There's not a weekend that goes by that we aren't hanging out with a group of friends, spending the day together at the movies, or hanging out with our family back home. So here's to the last nine months of sadness, grief, heartache, and at times sheer joy. I'M MOVING ON......There may be a few more days between post's as I try to find more topics to talk about. I hope you continue to follow, although I can't promise I won't bore you. I look forward to the happy days ahead.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
April 16. 2011
Trent and I are having a great weekend...We went to the movies today to see Arthur. It was pretty funny. Then Trent decided we needed a new grill because ours broke last weekend so, he said he needed one now! Although, he does make the BEST barbecue chicken so I was glad to get one today also. The weather is perfect today in South Louisiana, so we decided to do some yard work and bathe Charlee, which is always a task. I don't know about you guys but I love to mow. There's just something about a beautiful sunny day on the mower that I enjoy. In case you're wondering, Trent doesn't make me mow, I choose too. I've always enjoyed it, well at least since we've had a riding lawn mower that is. Push mowing is a man's job! As far as bathing Charlee, lets just say she may still be covered in suds. It's not her favorite. Well I better be going because Trent and I are going to our favorite restaurant Buffalo Wild Wings to eat. We LOVE their garlic Parmesan wings! Yummy!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
146 days...
146 days, that's how long it's been since..........
-I sat in a hospital room hoping and praying to make it to Houston on Monday, November 22nd to have the vessels fused between Easton and Parker, begging God to save my babies.
-I sat researching this experimental procedure that would be performed, if the doctors could make a tiny incision in my amniotic sac without rupturing it.
-I prayed that although this was VERY experimental and had only been done successfully a few hundred times, that I would be added to that number of successful cases.
-I felt Easton kicking me in my right rib, wondering how his little feet could possibly be so strong.
-I laid in bed rubbing my not so small tummy and talking to my sweet boys....AKA "Mama's babies".
-I stood in horror as I realized my water had broken and that my babies would not live.
-I saw the most terrible look on my husband's face as he rounded the bathroom corner and screamed in horror as he realized this was the end as we knew it.
-I laid in the hospital bed screaming out for a Dr. as the six nurses kept reassuring me that Dr. G. would be to the hospital shortly.
-I had the strongest urge to push but the nurses kept telling me I had to wait, for fear that I may need surgery if "this" didn't go as planned.
-I wondered how I would birth these babies, knowing that for five months I was told I would need a section.
-My husband cradled me and said "It's just you and me now".
-I held the most beautiful babies in the world and rocked them as I sang lullabies to them.
-I sat in the bed as my Dr. and family cradled me in tears.
-Since, Trent sat in a rocking chair, rocking our boys in tears as he said "I'll always be one proud Papa." "We did good baby, we made the most beautiful children."
-Sat in shock as I was wheeled down that hallway to my car without my children.
- SINCE, I realized, that I no longer had children.....
"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief."
Proverbs 14:13
-I sat in a hospital room hoping and praying to make it to Houston on Monday, November 22nd to have the vessels fused between Easton and Parker, begging God to save my babies.
-I sat researching this experimental procedure that would be performed, if the doctors could make a tiny incision in my amniotic sac without rupturing it.
-I prayed that although this was VERY experimental and had only been done successfully a few hundred times, that I would be added to that number of successful cases.
-I felt Easton kicking me in my right rib, wondering how his little feet could possibly be so strong.
-I laid in bed rubbing my not so small tummy and talking to my sweet boys....AKA "Mama's babies".
-I stood in horror as I realized my water had broken and that my babies would not live.
-I saw the most terrible look on my husband's face as he rounded the bathroom corner and screamed in horror as he realized this was the end as we knew it.
-I laid in the hospital bed screaming out for a Dr. as the six nurses kept reassuring me that Dr. G. would be to the hospital shortly.
-I had the strongest urge to push but the nurses kept telling me I had to wait, for fear that I may need surgery if "this" didn't go as planned.
-I wondered how I would birth these babies, knowing that for five months I was told I would need a section.
-My husband cradled me and said "It's just you and me now".
-I held the most beautiful babies in the world and rocked them as I sang lullabies to them.
-I sat in the bed as my Dr. and family cradled me in tears.
-Since, Trent sat in a rocking chair, rocking our boys in tears as he said "I'll always be one proud Papa." "We did good baby, we made the most beautiful children."
-Sat in shock as I was wheeled down that hallway to my car without my children.
- SINCE, I realized, that I no longer had children.....
"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief."
Proverbs 14:13
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| For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16 |
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| Easton Craig |
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| Easton Craig |
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| Benjamin Parker |
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| both of my boys! |
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| Parker |
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Monday, April 11, 2011
My weekend.....
This weekend I drove in to North Louisiana to do my little sisters hair and make-up for her first prom. She turned fifteen years old last November and I can't believe how quickly the time has flown. I was nine when Madison was born and I still remember all of the details. She is a precious "little" girl and has my heart....Here are a few of her pictures. Isn't she a doll? I tried my best to make her hair look as good as she hoped it would...
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| Make-up Time! |
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| Always on the phone... |
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| The final product! |
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| Me and my girl! |
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| Isn't she a beauty? |
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| Love her! |
On Saturday I went to The Catfish Festival in my home town of Winnsboro. We had lots of fun and got to see lots of old friends. I went to the festival with my mom and friend Sunny and met up with my mother in law and husband after we got there. Here are a few pics of my day at the festival. I sure to miss being in Winnsboro and spending time with our friends and family.
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| Mabry and I |
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| My sweet husband |
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| Sunny Rae and I |
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| Mom and I |
Over all I had a great weekend until Sunday when I started feeling pretty terrible. I ended up going to the doctor today and finding out I have double ear infections and a terrible sore throat. Seriously? I don't think I have ever had an ear infection, much less both ears at one time. Anyway I am going to be just fine in a few days. On a side note, I am not so sure that having blood pressure that is 64/42 is very healthy. After three times of trying to get my pressure to read this is what is said on the fourth time.......Anywho, I hope everyone has a great week!
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