|One of my last pictures of me with my sweet boys.|
And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. Mark 10:13-16
Trent and I are so very thankful for all of the kindness and prayers that we have received over the past few months. Everyone has gone above and beyond and we are forever grateful. We love you all and can't express our gratitude. I have made new friends over the past few months and realized that I am not the only one who faces such terrible times. It seems that everyone has a story of loss, and I find myself with a long list of prayers each night for all of the sick babies and children. I say this because I always remind myself that my situation could be much worse, in my opinion. There are mother's that lose their children due to car accidents, cancer, or some other terrible occurrence. I cannot say that I will ever be able to understand the pain that these mother's and father's feel but I can somewhat sympathize with them. Although every situation is different, I find myself thanking God that my babies were not born into a world of suffering. They never knew bad or evil, just God's grace. I like to think that they were very happy and content for the five months that I carried them and then they went straight from my tummy to the greatest place imaginable; to be with their Father. They only ever knew love.
I think that over the past few months, God has placed some very special people in my life. Many people that I knew while growing up in Winnsboro have faced a miscarriage in the past few months. It seems every time I would find out someone was expecting, the good news would be followed by bad news within days. I can't understand why these wonderful women of God, who want babies so bad can't have them, or have them taken away. I try not to question God because I drive myself crazy thinking of the "what if's". I met someone who I know will become a dear friend of mine over the next years to come. She won't mind me sharing her story with you so I will. Her name is April Goodman, and she is such a wonderful friend, and woman of God. April lost her baby at the beginning of January and I was devastated for her. She was nine weeks along and she and her husband were ecstatic about the impending birth of their child. Right after I had the boys I found out that April was expecting. How we met was nothing short of a miracle. April and her husband went in the bank where my mom works, the day that she found out she was expecting and having her first ultrasound. I remember mom calling and telling me that April was pregnant and how happy she was. I must say that I only knew April through acquaintances and have never actually met her, but I was so happy for this girl. A few weeks after this April was sitting at Long Horn and began showing her husband pictures of me on face book on her cell phone. Little did she know that my step-mother was sitting right beside her. She went on to tell Paul, her husband, how terrible our situation was and how terrified she was that she would for some reason miscarry. My step-mother spoke up and asked April how she knew me. She responded that she didn't really know me but she knew I had lost the boys. I thought this was strange that she had run into my mom and step-mom in the same few weeks. A few more weeks passed and April went for an ultrasound and her biggest fear was confirmed, her baby had no heart beat. April left the Doctor that day and went to Catfish Cabin and while she was there she ran in to my mother in law, Brenda. You may think this is just coincidence but I know it's not. She went on to tell Bren that she had just left the doctor and that she was losing her baby. I say losing instead of lost, because at this point she had not had the baby yet. Her body was not recognizing that the baby's heart had stopped beating and she would have to wait a few days until she would actually miscarry. I was devastated by the news. I never want any mother to have to feel the pain that Trent and I had. I decided that I would message her on Face book and send her a scripture that another acquaintance, Casey Smith sent me (Mark 10:13-16). She wrote me back and told me that she appreciated my kindness and we chit chatted for a bit before we said good bye. I never thought our friendship would go beyond this. It ended up that over the next few days we would talk more and more. For the next month we chatted daily on Face book still never talking on the phone. We decided enough was enough and I called her one day. We talked for close to four hours that night, each telling the other our story and praising God that our babies did not suffer. For the last two months, we have almost talked daily, sometimes for hours a day. Trent and I are excited to meet April and her husband this weekend because she is coming in from Florida and we are getting to go bowling and out to eat on Saturday. We joke that we have become best friends in such a short time, although I really do consider her a best friend and one of the sweetest people that I know. We have learned so much about each other in the last months and have a friendship that will last a lifetime. I am so glad to have someone who knows exactly how I feel. Although our situations are different we have both grieved the similar ways. We both can't wait to have our next baby's on the way and hope to get to raise them together. We would have never met if it weren't for what happened to us. Although we would much rather have our babies here, we know that God has brought us together to comfort and lean on each other. Easton and Parker now have a new friend in Heaven. I can't imagine all of the fun things they must be doing with all of their friends and family surrounding them. It makes me happy to know that when I go to meet God that our boys will be standing right beside Him, holding out their hands to Trent and I. What a great day that will be.
*Here is a picture of sweet April and her husband Paul. If you don't mind please keep them in your prayers as they are still greiving the loss of their precious baby.
Thanks for continuing to follow, I'll do my best to update every few days. God bless you all!