Our Weekend...

     Our weekend consisted of going to watch one of Trent's former summer baseball players play college ball at McNeese.  We had lots of fun with some people that we haven't seen in years and really enjoyed the base ball games.  There is not really anything too interesting going on in our lives as of right now.  This coming weekend we are heading to North La to visit our parents and for Trent to turkey hunt.  Hopefully he will get his very first turkey!

Prayers needed...

     I have added a button for a sweet little girl named Lucy.  She is battling a serious form of brain cancer and needs your prayers.  I stumbled upon her mother's blog and am absolutely sick for this family.  Her family could use your prayers now more than ever. I do not know this family but can't imagine what they are going through.  They are believer's and know that God is in control.  I know her family would greatly appreciate you thinking of them during this terrible time.  You can simply click on the button and it will link you to Lucy's mother's blog.  I know God can heal this little girl.

Ups and downs!

     Some days seem to be easier but today is not one of them.  Is everyone in the world pregnant or is this just how I perceive it?  I am so happy for everyone who is expecting a baby and am not jealous but just want to experience being a mother again also.  I know this is normal.  Yesterday I was fine and moving forward, today is not so great.  It helps me to know that I am not in this alone.  I have met so many people who are going through different but at the same time similar experiences. They want a baby just a badly as I do.  All I can do is pray and know that God is on my side.  He will bless us when He see's fit. 

 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

Moving forward...

     I can't believe it has been almost four months since I held Easton and Parker.  I still lay in bed at night and try to remember everything about them and at the same time, realize that I am slowly forgetting some of the smaller details.  Something I will never forget is the pain of my heart being shredded into a million pieces.  The days seem to be getting easier, and I find that I can have complete conversations with out bringing them up.  I mean it has to get tiring for people to hear me talk about them.  They are no longer here and I feel like I should try harder to move on sometimes.  I can't spend the rest of my life talking about the boys and dwelling on what might have been.  Trent and I are so ready to become parents again and can't wait to bring our third child into the world.  Although we want a baby so bad that we could scream, we try to tell ourselves that it will happen in God's timing.  I find myself praying that God will give me a baby soon and as crazy as it sounds being scared to give it all to God.  I know it is in His hands and not mine but I hope his timing is sooner than later, for fear that I may lose my mind.  I try to fill my mind with other thoughts and keep it from counting down the days each month to see if we are indeed expecting.  This is the worst part, the waiting.  Wondering if we will have another child soon or if we will ever have another one.  I know that we will but as everyone, who has ever tried to have a baby knows, your mind can drive you nuts.  I sit and think about how I will tell Trent when I find out we are expecting and how we will break the news to everyone else.  What a great day that will be, although I may need a nerve pill to get me through the nine months after we find out.  I know longer will feel like I am in the safe zone after the 13th week, like I did last time.  I mean we made it to right at twenty weeks so who's to say we won't lose another one.  I tell my self that God knows how much Trent and I can handle and wouldn't let this happen again but still the fear is there.  Sorry for all the the babbling but I am really trying to move forward and be happy once again (which I am happy) I can't just curl up in a ball and let life pass me by.  I have to much going for me. 

Thought I would leave you with some happy picture's...

Trent, Charlee, and I!

“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” Ecclesiastes 11:5

Isn't this Precious?


    but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31

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Mamaw and Aunt Marilyn took this sweet little bike to the cemetery.  Easton
and Parker would love it.  I love how the little pin wheel blows in the wind.



First Order In...

     We have turned in our first order of shirts for the March of Dimes.  In a little over a week, we sold about 250 shirts.  I was blown away and am so thankful for the support from our friends and family.  I am so happy to have this sweet shirt with the boys foot prints to keep forever.  Trent and I have had such an outpouring of love and support and are overwhelmed with every one's kindness.  The days are getting easier, not because we don't miss the boys anymore, but because we know our future is bright and full of good things.  God has blessed us in numerous ways and we can't wait to see what he has in store for us, hopefully a house full of babies.  Our heart's desire is to be parent's and have healthy happy children.  Thanks for continuing to read as I babble on about my life!

  Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.  Deuteronomy 7:9

My handsome husband!

Mrs. Betsy, don't you have two boys?

   I had the joy of subbing today at a wonderful school.  I have subbed at this school for over a year now and love it.  While I was pregnant my subbing days were few and far between due to being on bed rest and constant sickness.  I love the kiddos at this school and the teacher's also.  After having the babies I didn't get many calls to sub, due to the teachers being worried about bothering me after after having the boys.  Anyway I knew I would be bombarded with questions, of how the babies were doing and what were their names etc.  Since I had subbed up to the 14th week of pregnancy.  All of the kids knew I was having twin boys.
   The day started off well.  No one really asked about them.  A few sweet people told me they were praying for Trent and I and just let me know we were in their thoughts.  I should’ve known it would be the younger kids who would have the most questions.  When it came time for me to have 3rd grade, one sweet little girl shouted, Mrs. Betsy, don't you have two boys?  Even though I should have been prepared, I wasn't.  How was I supposed to answer this nine year old child without going into too much detail but also without letting on that the boys were still here with me?  I simply answered, Yes, I did.  Then the next question came, well how old are your boys now Mrs. Betsy?  This really caught me off guard, so instead of saying they are in Heaven or they are three months old, I simply answered, they were born in November.  This was the truth.  They were indeed born in November, rather they stayed here with me or not.  Her last question was an easy one.  Mrs. Betsy what did you name your boys?  Easton and Parker I said.  With that, she shouted across the breeze way, "See, I told you Mrs. Betsy had two boys, and they were twins."  My heart melted.  What childlike innocence.  All we want is for people to remember "our boys" and how very special they were to us.  Sure the pain will get easier and we can't dwell on them twenty four hours a day but we will never forget them.  I feel like I have the same feelings as a parent whose child is here in earth.  They want to show their baby off and all I have of my babies are their sweet foot prints to show, and let me tell you, I do.  I feel like this is the one thing that I have left of them.  Today I was also asked by a teacher, who meant no harm at all, did I have to bury the boys.  I responded with yes we did.  This person then went on to ask me were the babies really big enough to look like a real babies.  This was when I pulled out my cell phone and showed him a picture of Easton's feet.  I didn't know how to answer and the picture said all that it needed too, yes they were.  He was speechless when he saw my baby's perfect feet.